Friend Rule Book?

Recently I had a conversation with my best friend Chris who lives in Newark, NJ. Like most of our conversations Chris usually tells me where I am wrong in whatever situation I just currently happen to be a part of. In this most recent event I explained to him how I felt some type of way because of a very close friend who came to town for a few days that I never got to see. This friend stayed here in LA with an ex friend of mine with whom I introduced these two years ago. They only knew each other through me. Now I’m too old to play that “you were my friend before him” game but at what point do you say to yourself wtf?

Not seeing this friend (who didn’t answer my texts the night we were supposed to hang out) that whole time he was here low key hurt my feelings. The situation got me thinking, why do we value one person or their time more than the next? Is one friend in your life held higher than another friend? If so, what determines that? I ask these questions because I felt like I was more of the option or afterthought. Nothing irks me more than being an afterthought. Then I asked myself, do I place people on different tiers in my life? Is one friend less important than another? Sure we have our best friends and regulars but what about just genuine friends?

Theres no handbook on being a good friend to someone, I know I’m guilty of not being the greatest friend to some in the past. I feel like for me, at this stage in the game that if I’m not a good friend to you, and by that I mean, caring, considerate, fair, thoughtful, then why am I your friend? Why do we half-ass our friendships with people based solely on the history we may have with someone? Why even put in the effort of calling someone a friend when we can’t live up to the position? Should we take it back to labels? Should we start referring to people as acquaintances, “just co-workers”, old fling, “someone I know”? Where’s the “How to be a good friend book- For Dummies”?


5 thoughts on “Friend Rule Book?

  1. Well I know that you know your worth. At the end of the day people change daily. The person who you was friends with obviously is not who he was then that he is now. Learn from it, move on. There is a reason that person it not a part of your life any more. You are an awesome person. Some people are not worthy of you!!! Look at it.likr that boo!


  2. I value the friends that put their time into making our friendship grow or those who put in the time to sustain that relationship. A lot of people don’t want to be there for you and those I do not consider friends. If they stick around after ditching me or leaving me on the sidelines I take their message loud and clear. They will no longer be a priority in my life unfortunately. It’s important for me to be surrounded by people who support, love, and cherish me. I’d rather the person be honest by not coming around than me having to beg for their attention. It’s healthier and we open ourselves up to better relationships.

    Liked by 1 person

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