Recently I had a conversation with my best friend Chris who lives in Newark, NJ. Like most of our conversations Chris usually tells me where I am wrong in whatever situation I just currently happen to be a part of. In this most recent event I explained to him how I felt some type of way because of a very close friend who came to town for a few days that I never got to see. This friend stayed here in LA with an ex friend of mine with whom I introduced these two years ago. They only knew each other through me. Now I’m too old to play that “you were my friend before him” game but at what point do you say to yourself wtf?
Not seeing this friend (who didn’t answer my texts the night we were supposed to hang out) that whole time he was here low key hurt my feelings. The situation got me thinking, why do we value one person or their time more than the next? Is one friend in your life held higher than another friend? If so, what determines that? I ask these questions because I felt like I was more of the option or afterthought. Nothing irks me more than being an afterthought. Then I asked myself, do I place people on different tiers in my life? Is one friend less important than another? Sure we have our best friends and regulars but what about just genuine friends?
Theres no handbook on being a good friend to someone, I know I’m guilty of not being the greatest friend to some in the past. I feel like for me, at this stage in the game that if I’m not a good friend to you, and by that I mean, caring, considerate, fair, thoughtful, then why am I your friend? Why do we half-ass our friendships with people based solely on the history we may have with someone? Why even put in the effort of calling someone a friend when we can’t live up to the position? Should we take it back to labels? Should we start referring to people as acquaintances, “just co-workers”, old fling, “someone I know”? Where’s the “How to be a good friend book- For Dummies”?