Relationships vs. Social Media: Part 1

Alright, check it out, so the other day I had a conversation with “bae” about relationships and social media.  We talked about what has worked in the past and what hasn’t.  We touched on my standpoint on us and social media (which I will get to in part 2) and what the rest of the world thinks.  Then the other day I read a post on Instagram that really put things into perspective for me (the Piscean man) in today’s rough terrain of social media.  The post stated: “Being an old school romantic in a hookup culture is a special kind of hell.”  Nothing could be further from the truth for me as I consider the rise of social media to be the downfall of romance and face to face communication and here’s why.

Back when I was growing up (not that it was a long long time ago or anything but hear me out) we didn’t do a lot of texting.  Yeah there were cellphones but texting on them took forever and it just came off corny to text someone when you could just call but anyway, those were the times where you would write little letters in class and hand it to the girl asking things like; do you like me, do you have a boyfriend and stuff like that.  It was short but it was romantic and girls loved it.  You would spend days flirting with her, playing with her during recess and on the bus, it was what we used to call “game.”  You basically did things to show that you were interested and you took your time.  You both ended up dating (in whatever grade you were in by this time) and everyone knew you were “boyfriend and girlfriend.”  The whole point is that you both took the time to get to know each other. Granted you were young and in no way trying to get married, you both would honestly just want to know the person you call your boo.  Does this happen today? Hmmm, not so often.

Today you can end up in a relationship in a matter of hours.  I once cultivated a relationship simply by texting back and forth for a few days and the next thing I knew we were on our first date.  We never talked over the phone or met for a drink or anything.  It was like I woke up and had agreed to this new person being my “everything” simply over my little sprint Razor flip phone (dating myself right? I know, just read).  I feel like these days people don’t have the time, patience or even the concentration to invest into someone they are interested in and it’s sad to me.  This is what leads to what I call “internet relationships” aka “Facebook relationships.” We all know those relationships, where everyone from coast to coast knows who your man or woman is, everyone knows your problems and your personal business.  We always know when you guys are going through problems and we have to bare witness to your overdramatic break ups that we honestly seen coming.

Some people learn from these types of relationships from either being in them or witnessing them first hand on their “social media soaps” aka “timelines.” When you know better you think you will do better right? Wrong! We all have those social media friends who stay in and out of relationships and constantly post their new boos every couple of weeks.  You hate to like or comment on anything because you feel like it won’t last due to all the other relationship pics and posts you liked just weeks prior.  It’s a viscous cycle and in my opinion it all goes back to us not taking the time to get to know each other.  I think the world would be a better place if we all just took a minute and slowed things down a bit and spit a little game, romanced the one we want, show them you are serious and spend some time learning who they are.  We all deserve that don’t we?


4 thoughts on “Relationships vs. Social Media: Part 1

  1. It’s crazy that you write about this. I’ve been dealing with the same guy for about 4 months. We are not officially together but in the “dating/ getting to know stage.” Different from other situations is that although we follow each other on social media, we don’t base our relationship on each other’s likes, statuses, or comments on pics and posts. We do not share any picture together on social media. And when I tell you that it fundamentally makes the world of a difference to the day-to-day vibe of our relationship. It’s not to hide the situation, but until we have solidified things, we have decided to keep things private. And oh the difference I notice.

    I am guilty of previously making my relationship social media knowledge..making posts about my relationship..making a big deal of posts weren’t liked..

    I realized that there was no benefit to it. And truthfully it only creates more of a false relationship. We were more concerned about the perception of our relationship than the actually relationship itself.

    Well I say this all to say that…we as a society need to take a step back from social media in regards to our relationship. If people can’t tell we are in relationship based on our day-to-day actions then there is a bigger problem. In addition, we have to chill on letting technology control us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I couldn’t agree with you more! Very valid points and I’m doing the same thing currently in my relationship. We don’t follow each other @ all but we communicate daily and even send each other pics that we posts on our social media, sometimes for opinion and other times just to say hey I posted this today. Relationships that are blasted on social media I feel like are done for all the wrong reasons sometimes. Thanks for reading. I’m glad you can relate. I learned a few things from your post as well.

      Like

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